The lives and deaths of Toby Jolly

I once heard the advice that you should write your own obituary. You can then see if you want to change it. Here are my first three attempts:

Attempt One: Abstract of a thesis entitled “The impact of the life of Toby Jolly”

Thesis Title: The impact of the life of Toby Jolly:
a simulation study on a human connected to the early 21st century’s “Effective Altruism” movement

Submitted by:
Dxil Sind 0239β
for the degree of Doctor of Pre-Post-humanities
at Sopdet University 
August 2542

Abstract
Many (>500,000,000) papers have been published on the Effective Altruism (EA) movement, its prominent members and their impact on the development of AI and the singularity during the 21st century’s time of perils. However, this is the first study of the life of Toby Jolly; a relatively obscure figure who was connected to the movement for many years. Through analysing the subject’s personal blog posts, self-referential tweets, and career history, I was able to generate a simulation centred on the life and mind of Toby. This simulation was run 100,000,000 times with a variety of parameters and the results were analysed. In the thesis I make the case that Toby Jolly had, through his work, a non-zero, positively-signed impact on the creation of our glorious post-human Emperium (Praise be to Xraglao the Great). My analysis of the simulation data suggests that his impact came via a combination of his junior operations work, and minor policy projects but also his experimental events and self-deprecating writing.

One unusual way he contributed was by consistently trying to draw attention to how his thoughts and actions were so often the product of his own absurd and misplaced sense of grandiosity; a delusion driven by what he would describe himself as a “desperate and insatiable need to matter”. This work marginally increased the self-awareness and psychological flexibility amongst the EA community. This flexibility subsequently improved the movement's ability to handle its minor role in the negotiations needed to broker power during the Grand Transition - thereby helping avoid catastrophe.

The outcomes of our simulations suggest that through his life and work Toby decreased the likelihood of a humanity-ending event by 0.0000000000024%. He is therefore responsible for an expected 18,600,000,000,000,000,000 quality adjusted experience years across the light-cone, before the heat-death of the universe (using typical FLOP standardisation). Toby mattered.

Ethics note: as per standard imperial research requirements, we asked the first 100 simulations of Toby if they were happy being simulated. In all cases, he said “Sure, I actually, kind of suspected it…look, I have this whole blog about it”

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Attempt Two: Obituary to a philosopher clown

World news | Obituaries
Toby Jolly

By Obitutron445.beta
July, 26 2062 19.58 BST

The world will today mourn the death of Toby Jolly, who died late yesterday at the age of 73. As you no doubt know, Toby was known for his world-changing writing and comedy music performances. Despite a complete lack of formal training, he appeared from nowhere in the mid 2020s; with his unique combination of poetry, graphs, improvisational ukulele, dark-clowning and deep psycho-philosophical reflection.

He rose to fame in the late 2020s and early 2030s, around the time of our transition to a post-AI and post-scarcity society. Looking back now, we can see how his philoso-clown form, his self-referential inclination, alongside his connection to a community of people working on reducing existential risk from AI, put him in a unique position to be the artist who stewarded the human heart-mind through the fundamental transformation of society.

Perhaps he will be best remembered for his 2026 album “Can I be the alpha now? Please!?”
The most popular tracks on that album: “Where is the compassionate machine god I was promised?” and  “I consulted HCH and it told me that I suck” have been streamed a total of more than 10²¹ times (excluding streams by brain emulations of grade E and lower).

By the late 50s meta-sociologists agree that his work stands out from his peers in terms of how it shaped the psychic-stability of the world in the wake of AI. Mr Jolly was the philosopher-clown that the world didn't know it needed at the time. His influence is now recognised as crucial in preventing the mental-dissolution of civilisation at the dawn of AGI.

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Attempt three: An explanation

Published 16th October 2075

Hey readers, 
If you haven't heard yet, I died…. This sucks for me.
But I asked a friend to publish this poem on my blog should I die.
I hope this explains some of my life choices:

An explanation

If you’re reading this I died
I’m sorry for your loss
But now I’ve less to fear
I’ve things to get across

I tried to change the world
I tried to right the wrongs
Transform this pain and fear
Into a blissful song

This partly came from love
From empathy and care
And partly from my ego
From emptiness and fear

The former drawn from looking
At the poverty, the horrors
At all the existential risk 
Our politics ignores

The latter came from me
From pain I tried to hide
A deep need to defend
This little boy inside

And so I tried to help 
To fight the righteous fight 
But need for validation
Would pull me from the light

I tried to help all others
All. Impartially.
But kept on realising 
It was really all for me

I found this dance too painful
The fight too hard to bare
I failed to see the darkness
And stay aligned with care

I felt my ego grab success
Turn failures into shame
Distort this noble fight 
To endless status games

So, as you know, I ran away
I chose a simple life
Of pleasure and of privilege
Just me, my friends and wife

I lived my years in selfish peace 
A small community
I left the global struggle 
And came to feel more free

When I set my sights closer
To love those I could see
My egoic ambition 
Became much less of me

If I lived my life over
I’d make this choice again
Turn my back on the fight
Spend days with loving friends 

I still feel sadness though 
That my heart could not bear
The world and all its politics
Or existential fear

I really really wanted
To be infinitely kind
But that was just too much
For my simple monkey mind

I do still feel the weight
Of each small chicken cage
and all the future people
Who I just could not save

These people and these creatures
Who I just might have helped
If only I were stronger;
Held love while facing hell

I’d ask for their forgiveness 
For mercy, for some grace
But why ask for a jury,
I know I’ll never face?

So this is all I’ve got
No redemption, no solution
I didn’t do much good
I’ll get no absolution

I was born onto a planet
Containing so much hell
But have a mind that made
That hell about myself

For even as I write
The irony that hits me
To write this silly poem
To bathe in my self-pity

The last hope that I have
With my few final breaths
Is that these words might help
Any others to address

The conflict in our hearts
Be good, keep hold of care
Not turn to fear and pride
Bare the fight I could not bare

Bonus content

I already created the title track for the album in obituary number two.

Lyrics by Toby Jolly, everything else by Suno: